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Must be the stress from everything... Just had a meltdown infront of my mum... Screamed at her for no reason... My throat hurts... Had a breakdown in my room and just started crying... Someone help me... Free me fro
the pain I am feeling...

Picture Perfect memories

This post is dedicated to my clannies(Ariel, Thea, Cel, Ning, Anne, Ruth) :D wanna thank you guys for all the crazy, laughing-till-my-stomach-hurts-and-rolling-on-the-floor moments. Also thank you for all the moments where we will eat a huge amount of food together:) all the food that we have consumed could have fed so many families in Africa! Haha:) and also thank you for all the everyday,simple memories where we are together:) although our time left together is short, I will always treasure all the memories we had created:D LOVE YOU ALL!

Today just ended.

Today was my last official day with 4CO. Took lots of pictures to capture every last moment. Last time in class, last time being together as a class. Click. Click. The camera shutter clicked away, capturing every precious moment. Laughter, joy, tears, sadness all appeared in this class. I never did think this day would come so fast, perhaps it was in my subconscious, but I guess I was just living in denial. How did the time slip through my fingers so quickly? I know I will have to let go one day, but let me cling on to the memories for now.

Tonight

Was an emotionally draining night. First, someone asked me why I have been so emo for the past few weeks. She kept on probing till I broke down and told her. She was the only one who could unlock the part of me that I was trying so hard not to remember. I held on tight, willing myself not to give in but I couldn't take it and I broke down infront of her. Next, someone else said really really hurtful words to me and I just broke down again. Tried to block out her voice but it didn't work again. I must be pretty useless right, for you to say all that to me. Cried so many tears tonight until I can't cry anymore. I am so exhausted.

It hurts.

Tried to forget but the feeling comes and goes. Couldn't say I was trying my very best, but i knew I did at least try. Now, all this trying has got me no where except that our friendship wasnt the way it used be. I really regret ever feeling like that. My Mum says I am not focusing on my studies and I know that. Tried to block everything out. But it didn't work. How I wish I could turn back time and go back to the times where I knew how to smile genuinely.

Walking in the rain

It was raining as I walked to the bus stop after math remedial today. The rain splattered on my face as I thought of how we were. I did not know why this affected so much. Or maybe I knew. People asked me whether I was okay, I said yes. Only one person knew how I really felt. Didn't know how she knew, but she did. Maybe my feelings were of disappointment towards you. Or to myself. I vowed never to be like that again, but I couldn't stop myself. I had disappointed so many people this week. The feeling came and went. It always happened. And when it came, I felt really really disgusted with myself. Knew it was wrong yet I couldn't help it.

I only have a few words to say to you: I am really sorry.

The rain mixed with my tears as I walked on.

100524.

I can't live in denial anymore, the pain is exploding.

4 years, where had the time gone to? All that is left are memories, memories kept forever.
I hope I had made an impact on you.
The year we had spent together, gone by in a flash. I hope you will listen to them and make the best out of your Sec 3 and 4 life. Enjoy it while you still can. Treasure it.

To my dearest platoonmates, thanks for the wonderful memories you have given me. No words can ever describe them. The pain, sweat and tears. I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.

My wall is crumbling, my tears are flowing.
The regrets.
The joys.
The memories.

Now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life. I bleed.